People Watching At The "Lob"

Since Tom and I do not have hot water (re: post below "I Only WISH I Was In Hot Water), Tom took me out to eat.  Ya know . . . it's difficult to wash all those dirty, greasy dishes in cold water.  We decided on The Lob.  Wow, were we in for a treat.  We were so determined to eat seafood that when they told us the wait time was 1 hour 10 minutes, we didn't flinch.  So we sat on a bench just inside The Lob where both entrance doors were to our right and left.  What a treat it was to people-watch during that long wait time.  I took notes on my iphone so I wouldn't forget one thing.  Here, my friends, are the 13 observations from The Lob tonight.  

(1)  The Slamming Doors
Seriously, The Lob needs to adjust the doors so the slamming ceases.  It really got comical listening to one SLAM from the right then another SLAM from the left. . . . for over an hour! Glad I didn't have a headache.

(2) The Hatfields and The McCoys Hatfields
Tom and I sat in between an elderly mother and her daughter.  I asked the daughter if she wanted Tom & I to scoop down so she could sit with her mother and she said, "Heaven's no . . . I'm with her all the time."  Elderly mom leaned over and piped up, "Well, I don't want to sit next to you either."  Not much conversation went on between those two.  

(3) Chatty Cathy Kevon
This 11 yr old boy snatched the first empty seat on the bench which was beside a sweet little man.  The man simply asked Kevon one question and Kevon's floodgates opened.  That boy didn't shut up for a minute during most of our entire wait!

(4) Inebriated Dad
Kevon's dad stood the entire time while we waited.  I know I saw him with 3 beers before we were seated.  Hope he wasn't driving Kevon home.

(5) Boob Mom
Goodness gracious.  It's fine and dandy if God gives some women extra boobage.  But do ya have to flaunt it with a low-cut top . . . with two small children . . . one of which you were holding and the kid kept pulling on that top? 

(6) White-haired old man with long, very thin and stringy ponytail
Enough said. 

(7) Sugar Daddy
And I'm not talking about candy.  This was a dirty old man with a very young chic (and they were definitely a couple).

(8) "What Not To Wear" Woman
Picture this:  Woman wearing VERY thin, light-red leggings with a high crop top which revealed an ugly tat on her backside and a piercing on her navel!  Oh My Heavens!  Mrs. Hatfield's daughter (re: #2) laughed out loud.  I was afraid this sleazy-looking woman would b****slap Mrs. Hatfield's daughter if she didn't hush up!  Thankfully, Ms. Sleazy decided to not wait to eat.  I'm so glad b/c I don't think I could have stood looking at her backside for one more minute.

(9) The Displaced Cow Girl
Cow Girl had on boots, pants with sparkly beads (think 70's), slinky top, cowgirl hat and a face with enough Botox to make her look like a wax figure. She HAD to be well over 50.

(10) While sitting on the bench, I saw people with crutches, walkers, canes and oxygen.  Looked like a rehab center.  

(11) Cellulite Lady
Now, to be honest, I would definitely take 2nd place in the 2013 Cellulite Pageant. No doubt!  HOWEVER, I'm smart enough to not wear shorts that are SO short that they were up in her crotch.  No kidding.  Major cottage cheese front and back.  I got it, too.  I just hide it.

(12) Screaming Baby
While we were eating, several times a small child screamed bloody murder.  I'm talking ear-piercing screams.  So much for a quiet meal.

(13) This is the one that really burns me up.  The Lob offers "Endless Shrimp"-which means that you can get as much as you can eat.  Well . . . . some people don't play nice.  The table beside us ordered refills on 3 items TWICE. That makes a total of 6 refills of different kinds of shrimp dishes.  But did they eat any of the refills?  NO.  They put all 6 refills in takeout containers.  That's just cheating - plain and simple.  (I almost typed that I hoped they choked on the leftovers, but that's not nice.)  

This "No Hot Water" meal was very entertaining!  Like no other evening I've ever had. 




So . . . . . . . .

Boy, I Only WISH I Were In Hot Water. . . . .

Thursday night Tom and I were discussing the age of our water heater.  (Why do we southerners usually say "hot water heater".  The heater doesn't need to heat water that is already hot, does it?  Why not "cold water heater."  Better yet, just plain ole "water heater".) Any who, back to our water heater.  He asked me how old it was.  I said I remember that we bought it in 2001 so it was 12 years old - sorta in its senior years of life.  Tom stated that the water heater might last for years, months or days.  Then we wished it a long life and moved on to another riveting subject.

Friday morning when I walked into the garage I saw water coming out of Tom's workroom.  Yep, you guessed it.  That darn water heater HEARD us talking last night and decided to call it quits.  Water was standing everywhere in his workroom.  I called Tom and he told me how to (hopefully) turn a valve and get the water stopped.  Did not work. Thankfully, he was able to leave work early to help a distressed wife.  

We had a grand ole time at the home improvement store choosing a water heater.  Nothing is less exciting than spending $$$ on a stupid water heater.  The sales associate said their "go-to guy" would be calling us Friday night to set up a time Saturday a.m. to assess what was needed for the job and then install the heater on Saturday afternoon. Guess who didn't call Friday night?  

Saturday morning before 8am Tom drove back to the home improvement store to ask about it and to give our cell numbers.  We were going to be at Aubrie's birthday party from 9:30 am - noon.  We didn't want to miss his call.  The sales associate tried to call the go-to guy but his number was busy.  He assured us that he would get in touch with Mr. Go-To.

From 9:30 - noon neither Tom's cell nor mine rang.  Things were not looking good for a hot bath tonight.  When we returned home, we had not one but TWO messages.  (1) from the go-to guy.  He wanted us to call him b/c he needed to come assess the situation (grrrrrrr).  (2) A lady from LOWE'S (there, I named the store) saying that if we wanted the installation, we'd better call back to set it up (double grrrrrr). Tom kept his cool and talked with the go-to guy who informed him that he was in our area this morning (triple grrrrr) but since it was now after lunch, he couldn't do the job until Monday (quadruple grrrrr!)  

Tonight we went into the empty home of our friends (who are out of town) and had the most luxurious hot shower!!  At least we'll smell good for church tomorrow.  

Fashion. . . Smashion!

I know I'm old, but today's fashion styles disturb me.  I'm definitely NOT in the fashion loop.  As a matter of fact, I don't care one flip if I'm fashionable.  Case in point, the boots above.  Who in their right mind would spend almost $100 for these ugly boots??  NO ONE could possibly look good in these things.  

To be honest, I actually do have a similar item in my closet.  And, yes, I have worn it in public, although I was embarrassed.  It's called . . .

An ORTHOPEDIC Boot!!

BooYah!  I guess I am fashionable after all. 

(But I still don't give a flip.)

That blasted Chevron

Seriously, people, what is pretty about this pattern???  It honestly makes me have a migraine aura!

Actually, this migraine aura is SO much better than the chevron dress.


When I see chevron dresses, scarves, jackets, purses, etc., this is what I see in my brain:

Chevron pattern makes my brain SPIN!!!


Here's to letting the chevron pattern die a quick death in the fashion world.  Let's put the chevron pattern right back where it belongs.

Am I Lady Grantham or Mrs. Patmore?

Ok, I joyfully admit that I am a brand new fan of Downton Abbey!  I'm late entering this game, but better late than never.  To begin with, I misread the title of this wonderful show.  I read it as "DownTown Abbey".  I mispronounced it for a very long time.  Now I pronounce it correctly and love, love the show.  Over several days I watched the entire first three seasons.  Now I can't wait until January when Season 4 begins.

One night Tom and I had just finished discussing our daughter, Abby, and what was going on in her life at the time.  I decided to continue my marathon Downton Abbey viewing so I began to exit our den.  I said to Tom, "Well, I'm off to "Downton Abbey" now. . . .".  Tom said in an accusatory tone, "Well, why in the world are you doubin' Abby?"  So funny!!!  (He has not joined me in the Downton Abbey world yet.

I love so many of the characters and I'm sad that so many have already met their demise; especially the character who died at the end of Season 3. (I'll keep it secret in case someone reading hasn't seen it yet.)  Some characters I love and some I love to hate.  Some I really get a kick out of and some I'd like to kick in the rear.  Some fondly remind me of my relatives and some sadly remind me of others.  This is a show that has very clean language, except for a mild cuss word here and there.  

I've often thought I'd love to live during the era of Downton Abbey era - early 1900's - of course living in a mansion with servants and all those beautiful clothes, like Lady Grantham.   But honestly, I see myself as Mrs. Patmore.  I'm at home in the kitchen - planning, chopping, sifting, stirring, cooking and tasting.  And, like Mrs. Patmore, I can get aggravated when pushed for time while preparing a meal.  I like to take my time and I like it MY way.  Don't disturb or bother a cook.

So what Downton Abbey character are you most like??

The Birds and The Bees

Jane spent the day with me today.   I recently ran into her car while backing out of my garage. (That's a blog for another day!)  Her car was in the repair shop so we've had lots of convos today.  One thing she reminded me of is when our Mom had "the talk" with me.  I was probably between 6-10 years old; don't remember.  My sister Jane admitted that she listened at the closed bedroom door while Mom talked with me. (I'd thank Jane for the support, but I know she was just being nosey!!)  I don't remember exactly how she "told" me about SEX but I do vividly remember this part:

Mom:  Well . . . God plants a seed into the body of a woman and that seed grows into a baby.

Me:  . . . . . .(thinking). .  . . What if God puts the wrong seed in the woman - like what if God puts a black seed into a white woman?

Four observations:
(1) I was one smart(aleck?) little girl.
(2) Racism was alive and well in the sunny south in the late 50's/early 60's.
(3) I had not yet grasped the omnipotent power of our Lord.
(4) I'll bet Mom wished Dad had given this talk.

But here is Mom's final answer:

Mom:  God doesn't make mistakes.

WHAM!  Score a big one for Mom!  Way to go, Martha Florence!!  

And, you may ask, did she give me the DETAILED version of SEX?  Heck, no!  I learned that at a spend-the-night party at Harriet Arnold's house!!  I about puked!