Since Tom and I do not have hot water (re: post below "I Only WISH I Was In Hot Water), Tom took me out to eat. Ya know . . . it's difficult to wash all those dirty, greasy dishes in cold water. We decided on The Lob. Wow, were we in for a treat. We were so determined to eat seafood that when they told us the wait time was 1 hour 10 minutes, we didn't flinch. So we sat on a bench just inside The Lob where both entrance doors were to our right and left. What a treat it was to people-watch during that long wait time. I took notes on my iphone so I wouldn't forget one thing. Here, my friends, are the 13 observations from The Lob tonight.
(1) The Slamming Doors
Seriously, The Lob needs to adjust the doors so the slamming ceases. It really got comical listening to one SLAM from the right then another SLAM from the left. . . . for over an hour! Glad I didn't have a headache.
(2) The Hatfields and The
Tom and I sat in between an elderly mother and her daughter. I asked the daughter if she wanted Tom & I to scoop down so she could sit with her mother and she said, "Heaven's no . . . I'm with her all the time." Elderly mom leaned over and piped up, "Well, I don't want to sit next to you either." Not much conversation went on between those two.
(3) Chatty
This 11 yr old boy snatched the first empty seat on the bench which was beside a sweet little man. The man simply asked Kevon one question and Kevon's floodgates opened. That boy didn't shut up for a minute during most of our entire wait!
(4) Inebriated Dad
Kevon's dad stood the entire time while we waited. I know I saw him with 3 beers before we were seated. Hope he wasn't driving Kevon home.
(5) Boob Mom
Goodness gracious. It's fine and dandy if God gives some women extra boobage. But do ya have to flaunt it with a low-cut top . . . with two small children . . . one of which you were holding and the kid kept pulling on that top?
(6) White-haired old man with long, very thin and stringy ponytail
Enough said.
(7) Sugar Daddy
And I'm not talking about candy. This was a dirty old man with a very young chic (and they were definitely a couple).
(8) "What Not To Wear" Woman
Picture this: Woman wearing VERY thin, light-red leggings with a high crop top which revealed an ugly tat on her backside and a piercing on her navel! Oh My Heavens! Mrs. Hatfield's daughter (re: #2) laughed out loud. I was afraid this sleazy-looking woman would b****slap Mrs. Hatfield's daughter if she didn't hush up! Thankfully, Ms. Sleazy decided to not wait to eat. I'm so glad b/c I don't think I could have stood looking at her backside for one more minute.
(9) The Displaced Cow Girl
Cow Girl had on boots, pants with sparkly beads (think 70's), slinky top, cowgirl hat and a face with enough Botox to make her look like a wax figure. She HAD to be well over 50.
(10) While sitting on the bench, I saw people with crutches, walkers, canes and oxygen. Looked like a rehab center.
(11) Cellulite Lady
Now, to be honest, I would definitely take 2nd place in the 2013 Cellulite Pageant. No doubt! HOWEVER, I'm smart enough to not wear shorts that are SO short that they were up in her crotch. No kidding. Major cottage cheese front and back. I got it, too. I just hide it.
(12) Screaming Baby
While we were eating, several times a small child screamed bloody murder. I'm talking ear-piercing screams. So much for a quiet meal.
(13) This is the one that really burns me up. The Lob offers "Endless Shrimp"-which means that you can get as much as you can eat. Well . . . . some people don't play nice. The table beside us ordered refills on 3 items TWICE. That makes a total of 6 refills of different kinds of shrimp dishes. But did they eat any of the refills? NO. They put all 6 refills in takeout containers. That's just cheating - plain and simple. (I almost typed that I hoped they choked on the leftovers, but that's not nice.)
This "No Hot Water" meal was very entertaining! Like no other evening I've ever had.
So . . . . . . . .
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