Nursery Rhymes Are Confusing To Me . . . .

Now that I'm in full grandmother mode, I'm familiarizing myself with nursery rhymes. There are some on my new cds that I do not remember when my children were small. And I'm noticing that many of the nursery rhymes are, frankly, stupid - and in some cases frightening. Here are just a few that should be mentioned:

(1) "My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean"



I mean, really; why do we sing this song so joyfully when it's about a dead body floating out in the sea? One line even says, Last night I lay on my pillow (repeat, repeat) I dreamed that my Bonnie was dead. Jeepers, creepers! Let's get tottlers depressed, why don't we? Dead body in water! Let's make a nursery rhyme outta that. What were they thinking????


(2) "Lazy Mary"


Lazy Mary, will you get up . . . . . . No, no, Mother, I won't get up.

Now we're gonna give all the little Marys in the world a complex that they are not worth a plug nickle because they are complete lazy scumbags.


(3) "Do You Know The Muffin Man?"
Think about it . . . what do you know about the Muffin Man except that he lives on Drury Lane? He could be a menace to society. Just because he can bake a silly muffin, does he deserve a nursery rhyme about him? I want more information.




(4) "Polly Put The Kettle On"
This is one that I was not familiar with at all. What's in the kettle? Tea. But are you sure? And who's Polly? Then there's Sukey.

Is the cat Polly or Sukey or neither? Who went away w/o their tea?

This nursery rhyme leaves too much for the imagination.

(5) "Rub-A-Dub-Dub"

What in the world are three men (butcher, baker & candlestick maker) doing in the tub together? With their clothes on! With an open flame! Here are the ridiculous lyrics:

Rub-a-dub-dub

Three men in a tub,

And how do you think they got there?

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker,

They all jumped out of a ROTTEN POTATO, (???????)

'Twas enough to make a man stare.

Well, the lyrics certainly cleared up this mystery. Clear as the thickest fog.

(6) "This Old Man, He Played One . ."

What is "knick-knack paddywhack"? Why did he give a dog a bone? Why not Purina? When he came rolling home, was it on a skateboard, Big Wheel, or his fat belly? The questions remain.




(7) "Pop Goes The Weasel!"
I'm okay with the first verse about the monkey chasing the weasel and poppin' him, all in fun, but the second verse has me confused.
Johnny's got the whooping cough
and Mary's got the measles
That's the way the money goes
Pop . . . goes the weasel!
So, now, we're poking fun at sick little children? Poor Johnny. Poor weasel. Poor Mary who is lazy and now has the measles!



There are many more nursery rhymes that are crazy, but I won't bore you any further. I'll just keep on singing these dumb songs to my little girls. The songs didn't seem to harm Chad, Mark or Abby. Glad I didn't name her "Mary".